


Light Me Up

by koganewest



Series: KWmonth [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Whump, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lots of it, M/M, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Torture, in which i hurt keith a lot, keith and lance are dumb boys w repressed feelings, this is very angsty beware.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16132268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganewest/pseuds/koganewest
Summary: There is nothing Keith loves more than the idea of a soulmate. Until his doesn't seem to reciprocate the enthusiasm, and Keith finds himself more alone than ever.Or, five times Keith needs his soulmate and one time his soulmate is there.





	1. Nowhere To Lay My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for [#kwmonth](https://koganewest.tumblr.com/post/178555098180/the-lovely-callaeidae3-and-i-have-drafted-prompts) day 10: loner

Keith loved nothing more than the idea of a soulmate. 

To him, there was just something so incredible about the fact that there was someone out there, suited perfectly for him, eager to meet him. He’d been waiting for as long as he can remember for his 10th birthday, the day he’d finally be able to experience having a soulmate.

He knew that on a child’s tenth birthday, a small letter would appear on their dominant wrist, indicating the first name of their soulmate. Since soulmates had a special connection, they could reach out to each other through their mental bond. When one reached out to their soulmate, the letter would glow briefly. And if their soulmate responded, the letter would glow again, but brighter. 

Although there was no way of formal communication, it was reassuring to connect with someone, knowing that they were there for you in the harder times.

And for Keith, life hadn’t exactly been easy. His mom abandoned him before he could memorize her face, and his father died in the line of duty, leaving Keith an orphan by the age of eight. He’d been transferred from various foster homes to orphanages, and no place seemed like home anymore. He never could settle in one place for too long before he was getting uprooted or kicked out. Quickly, Keith figured out that no one wanted a child with the pain and anger he harbored. 

As a kid, Keith knew all this. He knew no one wanted him and carried the burden of unimportance. It was by no means easy – which was why he needed his soulmate so badly.

Now, Keith wakes up on his tenth birthday, and nothing matters except for what he sees on his left wrist. It doesn’t matter that his foster family forgot about his birthday, it doesn’t matter that he just got kicked out of another school, it doesn’t matter that he can’t remember the last time he’d been hugged. Nothing matters. 

Except for the small blue letter ‘L’ on his wrist. 

He doesn’t quite know what he’s supposed to do, but he musters all the strength he possibly can to wish with his whole heart to communicate with his soulmate. He sits there on his bed, eyes squeezed closed, hoping for something in response. 

The glow barely lasts a second. Then, nothing. 

For a while he waits, but there is no reply. Despite this, Keith finds this no reason to be discouraged. His soulmate wouldn’t get their letter until they turned 10 also, so they wouldn’t know he was trying until they got the ‘K’. It really isn’t a big deal that he got no response. It just meant his soulmate was a bit younger than him.

When he comes downstairs that morning, ready to go to school, his foster sister notices the letter on his wrist. She tugs on her mother’s shirt and points at Keith. “Look, mommy! He has a letter! Why don’t I have a letter yet?”

His foster mother is kind, but Keith knows she isn’t too invested in him. He’s aware that he’s just there for the government-issued compensation. She begins to respond, continuing to cut up her daughter’s pancakes. “That’s because he’s old enough for letter,” she mutters distractedly. “You’ll get one too, but you have to wait until you turn 10, sweetie.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, she seems to realize. “You turned 10? I mean, of course you turned 10! Happy birthday, Keith!” She smiles - nervously but still genuine. He doesn’t respond at first, instead examining her. Once dark brown hair is graying at her roots, and the lines on her face indicate a fair amount of stress. He knows the family is financially unstable; he never sees his foster father because of his long hours. “We, uh, got you something…? You can open it when you get home from school!”

“Thank you, ma’am, but it’s fine. You don’t need to get me anything,” he responds politely, returning the smile. For a moment, he feels warm and loved inside, even though he knows that there is no gift, that the enthusiasm is faked. They either forgot his birthday, or never knew it in the first place.

“Oh, nonsense,” she insists, and so Keith leaves it at that. Maybe she’ll get him something while he’s at school, perhaps on her way to work. 

He tries his best not to get his hopes up. After all, he's been let down too many times to get excited over something that may not happen. Regardless, he goes through school that day excited about the small letter on his wrist. Even the cool kids in his class pay attention to him that day, since he was one of the first in his class to be of age. They look at his ‘L’ in fascination, waiting for it to glow. They make Keith reach out to his soulmate a few times, and he still gets nothing in return. 

No one is too worried about the lack of communication. Soulmates can be up to a year apart in age, so everyone just assumes Keith’s soulmate hasn’t turned 10 yet. 

When he gets home that day, later than usual, his foster family isn’t home. There’s a small note on the fridge for him. _Went out for some food, but we’ll bring you some! Check your bed for your surprise!! :)_ He runs excitedly down the hallway to his bedroom, almost slipping on the hardwood floor in his lucky red socks. 

Sitting on his bed is a light blue hippopotamus plushie with a bow on its head. 

Keith knows that it probably used to belong to his foster sister because it’s a bit tattered and torn, but he doesn’t really care. It’s the first gift he’s gotten in a long time. He decides immediately that he loves it, especially because it’s the same shade as the letter on his wrist. 

When Keith picks up the stuffed animal, hugging it to his chest, he decides blue is the best color.

* * *

By the time Keith is in seventh grade, he still has never gotten communication from his soulmate. And, while it’s discouraging, he still can’t wait until he finds them. Maybe they have a reason for not contacting him at all. It isn’t his place to assume anything about them. 

Currently, he's living in a small town in Colorado, where his teacher talks to them about soulmates a lot because she hasn’t found her own. Keith doesn’t hate talking about it either. He thinks maybe he goes to school with his soulmate. With this in mind, he treats Liliana and Liam extremely nicely, just in case they might be his soulmate. He can't be sure, since their school uniforms cover their wrists in order to avoid distraction. 

One particular day, their teacher is explaining to them the history of the soulmate connection and decides to do an experiment with the whole class.

“Alright, class,” she begins, kindly addressing the group of preteens. “Each one of you is of age, and so is your soulmate. So, I want everyone to reach out and feel the connection between you and your soulmate. But first, I want you to roll up your sleeves so everyone can see your wrists.”

Keith’s stomach drops in nervousness. He’s going to be humiliated in front of everyone when his soulmate doesn’t respond. He grips his desk chair with sweaty palms as he stands, along with the rest of the class. 

There’s a desperate hope in the back of his mind pleading he isn’t the only person without a response. 

“Okay, on the count of three!” Ms. Andrea announces, and then counts down. Keith uses all the strength in him to reach out, watching as the rest of his peers do the same. His own wrist glows blue with the effort, and fades after a second. When his teacher observes that everyone is done, she gives the next instruction. “When you get a response, sit back down.”

Within the first minute, half the class has sat down. A dull chatter surrounds the room, discussing recess plans, the upcoming weekend, homework. Keith is still hoping that once, just this once, he will get a response. After another minute, there are only five kids left standing, including Keith.

One of the most popular boys in the class, Jayden, is still standing, which is extremely reassuring. Maybe today he won’t get made fun of at recess, or laughed at after school, or tackled during gym. But after another minute, the Jayden’s ‘C’ glows green, and he sits to talk with the rest of the class. 

Keith notices next that Liliana is still standing, and he thinks that maybe she is his soulmate. From where he is standing, he can’t see the letter on her wrist. A naïve hope wishes for her to have a ‘K’ on her wrist. But eventually, she sits too, and he catches a glimpse of a purple ‘R’. 

He would normally be disappointed, but she never reminded him of blue, anyway. 

When the lunch bell finally rings, he’s the only one left standing. All of the kids filter out of the room without speaking a single word in his direction. He’s about to follow when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, holding him back. 

“You never got a response?” Ms. Andrea questions. Her kind brown eyes hold pity, and Keith finds it insultingly condescending. He hates that look more than anything. “You _have_ gotten a response before right?”

“Yeah, of course,” he lies, face heating up with shame. She raises an eyebrow, so Keith tries to cover up his embarrassment. “They contact me all the time, honestly,” he ends up rambling. “Guess they’re just asleep right now, I don’t know. But I have communication with them all the time!”

He knows the lie is transparent; he can see the disbelief in Ms. Andrea’s eyes but chooses to ignore it. He honestly doesn’t know how else to deal with it, other than to explain that his soulmate wants nothing to do with him. And he certainly isn’t going to admit that. 

“Okay, Keith.” Thankfully she just decides to drop it, because Keith just can’t handle having this conversation. “Run along now, kid. Go eat lunch.”

So he does as he’s told, makes his way into the school cafeteria. When he gets there, he notices the table in the corner, filled with a group of rowdy boys, pointing and laughing in his direction. Initially, he ignores them, but it becomes too much. He stands up, red-faced and infuriated. “What’s so funny?” He demands. 

Instead of response, someone throws an apple at him. Keith watches it hit the side of his shoulder and fall to the ground next to him. And after so much tormenting at this wretched school, Keith just loses it. He picks up the apple and throws it with all of his force in the direction of the boys’ table. It hits one kid’s cheek, and he yelps.

The next thing Keith knows, he’s being attacked by about seven boys his age. There’s a swift punch delivered to his jaw, so he returns it with a blind kick and violent thrashing. Thankfully they’re only twelve years old, so not too much damage is done. The crushed apple lays on the floor while the boys are called down to the principal’s office. 

As he sits in the desk, stared down by the principal of this stupid school, he decides he hates his soulmate. He’s never going to try to contact them again.

* * *

What was once extremely important to him fades in significance. Keith doesn’t necessarily _hate_ the idea of soulmates, but he’s jaded by his own experience. It isn’t a crucial thing to him anymore, because there is so much more he has to worry about. The past three years had blessed him decent living conditions until now. His current situation is _much_ less than desirable. He’s used to being neglected, used to going to bed hungry, but this family is so much worse than just that.

The McCormick’s. Two sons in college. One son in Keith’s grade. A mother with no care in her touch. A father with nothing but anger in his. 

There’s nothing Keith dreads more than Friday nights. His foster father follows his day at work with a night at the bar, drinking away the monotony of his life. He stays there for hours, getting absolutely hammered, before stumbling back home – which is where Keith’s problem begins. 

Often times, he mistakes Keith for his own son, Alex. He reasons that because they were both tall and lean with a mop of messy dark hair, they resemble each other in the man’s drunken haze. But he never dared to correct the man for two reasons: fear of the consequence, and to save Alex. 

Now, Keith wasn’t normally that selfless, but he had a reason for sparing his foster brother. In Keith’s opinion, they had a strong bond. Alex often stole extra food from the dinner table and when he’d bring it to Keith, they’d sit and talk. Alex would tell him about his life, about people he crushed on, about his childhood friends, about anything really. 

In school, though, it was a different story. He didn’t so much as look in Keith’s direction. But he didn’t make fun of him either, and Keith was more than grateful that he didn’t laugh along with the other boys. 

He guesses that’s why when Mr. McCormick came home that night, calling for his son, Keith answers instead. 

He’s met with the scent of whiskey almost immediately. It overwhelms him briefly, dulling his reaction, until he gets a swift punch in the gut. It wouldn’t have been too bad if he wasn’t already bruised there from the previous week. He is, though, so the hit is detrimental. He stumbles backward, quickly met with broad hands on his shoulders, shoving him into the wall. 

“What th-fuck isswrong with ya?” He slurrs with obvious fury, though seemingly masked by drunkenness. “You – you think I don’see it, eh, Alex’nder? You ‘nd that worthless orph’n boy? Keep helpin’m, see what happens to you!” 

_Oh._ His foster father knew Alex was bringing him food. There wasn’t much time for him to contemplate it though, because he’s immediately being punched in the eye. He sees stars for a minute, but as soon as he regains his balance, he’s knocked back into the basement wall. He lets out a pathetic whimper as his head connects with the concrete, followed by a sickening crack. 

Keith barely gets a second to breathe after the hit. His foster father practically snarls as he lands a punch across Keith’s face, definitely breaking his nose. He spits blood in Mr. McCormick’s face, a last stab at defiance, but it turns out to be a terrible decision, earning him a knee to his gut and causing him to slump against the wall onto the floor. 

His foster father kicks him a few last times before getting bored of Keith’s lack of response. He lays there, struggling to breathe, blood pouring from his nose, desperate just to be saved from hell. 

But, as usual, no one comes to help him. Struggling on shaky legs, he stands to limp to the bathroom. 

Looking back at him in the grimy mirror is a shadow of who he used to be. He’s aged rapidly in a matter of months. His lips are thin and split in three places, parted so he can see the blood in his teeth. His cheeks, once rosy and fat with youth, are now sunken and hollow. Skin around his eyes is stained dark, and Keith knows a black eye is forming. His hair sticks up in places and is matted with blood in others. 

One look at himself is all it takes before he’s breaking down. 

He slides to the floor, weak at the knees, and sobs pathetically into his hands. At fifteen years old, he shouldn’t feel this helpless. But there’s absolutely nothing he can do, nothing he can say that will change his situation. Nothing will bring his mother home, nothing will raise his father from death, nothing will get him adopted, nothing will bring him love. 

He just has to learn to accept the fact that he’s alone. 

As he looks at his tear-stained hands, the letter catches his eye on his wrist. Maybe, after all this time, his soulmate wants to respond. Maybe, after all this time, he’ll find comfort in knowing he has someone out there who will love him unconditionally. 

But it’s only wishful thinking. Because even though Keith musters everything he has to reach out, he gets no response. 

He cries himself to sleep on the cold basement floor.

* * *

It’s barely a few months later when he tries again, this time overcome with joy. He’s been accepted into the Galaxy Garrison after meeting one of their best pilots. Truthfully, Takashi Shirogane shouldn’t have given him a second chance. But regardless of what he should've happened, Keith finds himself holding an acceptance letter.

It’s his ticket out of hell. 

The urge to reach out to his soulmate is instinctive, and he almost hates himself for his dependency. But right now, he’s too excited to chastise himself for it. The Galaxy Garrison will be his turning point, where he can finally get his life together and work toward happiness. Even now, he doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so wide. 

So when he reaches out to his soulmate, it’s almost involuntary. 

The glow that illuminates his wrist reminds him distinctively of that first time, when he woke up on his 10th birthday. There’s that same hopeful excitement, that same naive desire. It makes his chest ache with familiarity. His desperation is highlighted through the wideness of his eyes, the suspension of his breath, the audible beating of his heart. And as usual: no response.

 

Still, it doesn’t bring him down from his high. The Garrison is the best thing that will ever happen to him, and he can’t wait to begin there. 

It’s not often someone goes out of their way for Keith. It’s not often that he gets a second chance. But now, he’s filled with excitement and gratitude and an overwhelming sensation he can’t place. He thinks that it’s hope.

* * *

In the end, his expulsion from the Garrison was inevitable. 

He’d thought initially that Shiro leaving for a few years to go to Kerberos was the worst thing that could have happened to him. Oh, how he was wrong.

The day of the launch, Shiro had promised he’d come back. Keith remembers the desperation he felt when he cried into Shiro’s arms and begged him to stay. In the end, though, it wasn’t Keith's decision. He had to accept that this would make Shiro happy, even though it would hurt him. 

Shiro promised he’d come back. But he didn’t. 

Keith was sitting in the common room of the barracks when he found out. With a few other interested peers, he was watching the news, waiting for the weekly update on the Kerberos mission that the Garrison news station provided to students. 

The reporter, someone Keith identified as a teacher, spoke slow and solemn. The Kerberos mission had failed. Pilot error. All crew presumed dead. 

Keith remembers fleeing from the room, running down the halls to reach Iverson’s office. When he bursts through the doors, tears fall from his eyes as he screams, demands to be told the news isn’t true. He remembers Iverson’s silence, his stony expression as he sighs at Keith’s reaction. 

He remembers searching frantically for Adam, looking just about anywhere, until he finds him in Shiro’s old room. When Keith appears in the doorway, he freezes and stares. After a moment of eye contact, Adam opens his arms. 

Keith rushes toward him, falling into his embrace. And together they mourn.

A few days pass in which Adam doesn’t teach and Keith doesn’t go to class. They remain holed up in that small room Shiro used to occupy. They cry a lot, reminisce a lot, and don’t really sleep. Keith begins planning a rescue mission, but Adam shuts down his false hope. At first, Keith is mad that Adam doesn’t want to try to find Shiro, but then he remembers that Adam is hurting too.

Keith catches him with Shiro’s old hoodie pressed to his face. Even though the scent, just like the man who used to wear it, is long gone. 

From then on, Keith keeps his plans to himself. He steals records and information from the control rooms as often as he can without being caught. Storing it all in his bag, Keith prepares himself for the moment he can escape. He’s going to rescue Shiro, no matter what. 

Unfortunately, all it takes is one snide comment from Iverson to ruin everything.

He gets kicked out for attacking Iverson, for practically gouging out his eye. And honestly, Keith hadn’t intended to hurt him so bad, but he was just angry and hurt. The man had insulted Shiro – and Keith didn’t put up with that. 

Since there’s nowhere for him to go, he flees to the desert. And for a few months, Keith just drowns himself in conspiracies about the mission. There’s a strange connection he feels with the area around him, and it drives him to work harder. Everything is fine. Keith is fine. This is fine. 

Until it isn’t.

He’s not sure what makes him do it. Probably a combination of lots of things, truly, but the cause doesn’t really matter. It’s been forever since he last tried to contact his soulmate, since when he got accepted into the Garrison, since before this whole mess started. 

He’s outside his shack, trying to control his breathing, but nothing is working to calm him down. If he can figure out what to do, if he can’t figure out how to save Shiro, he’s officially got no one left. And Keith just can’t go through that loneliness again. 

He reaches out to his soulmate out of pure desperation. But, the same as all the times he’s done this before, he doesn’t get a response. 

He’s completely alone in this. 

Frustration makes him tug as his hair, squeeze his eyes shut, and just scream until he can’t anymore. 

For a few seconds, his voice echoes into the vast darkness of the desert, and he stares at it. Everything is overwhelming him now. He can’t even _breathe_ or contain himself. His aggression takes the form of yelling. “What did I do to deserve this?!” He shouts at the universe, furious at the world in general. It just isn’t fair. He doesn’t think his karma should be this bad. “Give me Shiro back! He deserves to live!”

In this moment, he could really use his soulmate. But the one person, who was supposed to be there despite everything, abandoned him as well. 

“You know what? _Fuck you too!”_ He shouts, now directing his emotions toward his elusive soulmate. “You’re supposed to answer me, you coward! Just once, that’s all I want, but you never do! Why? You’re supposed to be there for me! You’re supposed to _love_ me! Why don’t you love me?!”

Now, tears fall freely down his face, and he chokes and sputters on his words. “I need you, don’t you get it?!” 

He sighs, trying to control himself. His voice drops to a shaky whisper. 

“I need you so bad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys!! i started this WAYYY back in May, just had time to finish it now! come visit me on [tumblr](https://koganewest.tumblr.com)  
> -lily


	2. My Luminol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for [kwmonth]() day 9: hostage
> 
> work & chapter titles from space cadet by the technicolors

Lance’s parents were soulmates. 

As a kid, he’d watched how they acted around each other, always so _in love_. His father would go out of his way to bring his mother little gifts, and his mother would go out of her way to make sure his father was happy. And they really were perfect for each other. Things were great for a long time, and their relationship made Lance dream of his soulmate. 

This idea of someone out there, waiting for you, made an eight-year-old Lance buzz with excitement whenever he thought about it. He could not wait until the day he turned 10 and got his letter; he wanted nothing more than to see the glow and feel the connection. 

But a few months prior to Lance’s tenth birthday, things started to fall apart. 

His mother became more detached from their family, and his father stopped coming home early. Piece by piece, Lance’s image of his perfect family crumbled to the ground. There was now constant screaming, slamming doors, and broken bottles. 

Eventually, his parents told Lance and his siblings that they would be getting a divorce. 

And with that, Lance’s excitement for soulmates shattered and disappeared. He swore to himself that when he got his letter, he would never reach out to his soulmate. 

The pain convinced him never to want to meet his soulmate. He didn’t want to experience the kind of pain he felt when his parents separated. It was too overwhelming, too extreme, to visceral. He never wanted to even think about his soulmate again. 

So when he turns 10 and sees the red ‘K’ on his wrist, he doesn’t even try to make it glow.

Throughout the first year of having his letter, it glows quite often. About once a day, he ignores his soulmate to keep himself detatched. And as much as knows he has to keep himself safe from heartbreak, he really doesn’t like ignoring his soulmate. If they really needed help, he would be ignoring their pleas. 

_It’s for the best_ , he tells himself as his letter glows consistently for a half hour. He finds three wristbands to wear so his classmates don’t see him frequently ignoring his soulmate. For a while, it works.

There are many times, though, that he wants nothing more than to answer his soulmate. Or to even contact them first. Impulsivity and reckless desire push him to the precipice of breaking, but he withholds himself. The instances in which he wants to give in eventually lessen in frequency. Lance lives without that connection just fine.

And eventually, his soulmate stops trying. 

Sometimes months go by with no attempt, sometimes even _years_. On the rare occasion his wrist glows, Lance can feel his soulmate’s desperation. Still, he restrains himself from answering. 

Everything changes at the Garrison. His ‘K’ glows on the day he gets his acceptance letter. 

The second he hears the name, he _knows_. Keith Kogane. The boy everyone whispers about. The boy who doesn’t have to try. The boy who Shirogane mentors. The boy who refuses to speak to his peers. 

And in a brief moment of weakness when Lance first sees him, he tries to talk to Keith. To no avail. 

Keith brushes him aside, ignores what he says, and turns up his nose. Or so Lance thinks. He decides that Keith views him as a rival, so Lance vows to beat him at everything. To no avail, once again.

Lance had once resented the idea of a soulmate, and after meeting Keith, he hates it even more. Keith’s awful personality makes it so easy for Lance to justify his actions. Keith is a terrible person. He doesn’t deserve to be answered, no matter what. Even watching him cry at the Kerberos launch doesn’t convince Lance to reach out. Keith doesn’t deserve the time of day, let alone the comfort of a soulmate. 

Still, Lance watches him from afar. Without Shiro around, the boy becomes even more unbearable. Lance hadn’t even thought it was possible for Keith to get worse. 

And then the Kerberos mission fails. Keith gets kicked out. 

It’s strange, Lance thinks, how his wrist doesn’t glow throughout this. He begins to second-guess himself, because maybe Keith isn’t his soulmate. After all, Lance had never seen Keith’s letter. It could be anything. It might not be an ‘L’.

For a few months, everything is fine. Lance enjoys his new position as a fighter pilot, despite that it’s admittedly hard to live up to Keith’s standards. He works hard, though, and has a lot of fun along the way. One night, he even sneaks out to the roof with a two other students. 

Somehow, he finds himself piloting a robotic space lion, hurtling toward intergalactic war with his childhood hero, his engineer, and his communication specialist. And Keith. His soulmate.

* * *

Months pass in space as they fight a seemingly endless war, and Lance barely has time to think about Keith and the soulmate situation. He’s nervous around the other boy at first, especially when Keith insists they’ve bonded. But Lance pushes away from him. That is, until he and Keith grow closer in Shiro’s absence. 

The second Shiro is back, though, Keith rejects his spot as the leader, insisting that he’s the one to stay back on missions.

Lance try not to overthink it. He knows that Keith just wants the best for the team; Lance doesn’t let himself think that Keith is looking out for _him._ That’d be irrational, and if Keith is anything, he’s logical. He would never give up something for Lance, who’d been antagonistic toward him since they met. 

Then, Keith leaves. 

Despite that his absence assures Lance’s spot as a paladin, it doesn’t make him feel better. Something about the way Keith had walked away resonates with him. Did Keith really want to leave? Or did he just assume they didn’t need him anymore?

Lance knows just how many times Keith used to try to communicate with his soulmate. Lance also knows that Keith never got anything in return, that gradually he stopped trying so frequently, that he hasn’t attempted since before they all got sent to space. Lance knows Keith has issues – that much is obvious. Maybe that was why he chose to leave. 

No matter the reason he left, it doesn’t change anything. 

It doesn’t change that Keith gets captured during a Blade mission. It doesn’t change that the no one can find him. It doesn’t change that no one seems too concerned at the Marmora headquarters. It doesn’t change that Lance is sick with worry. It doesn’t change that months pass with no progress. 

The worst part: the Galra contact the Castle once a week and show them how they’re torturing Keith. They insist that if they surrender the lions, Keith will be released.

But each time they call, Keith insists they don’t give in. He tells them over and over that he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s _fine_. Sometimes the assurances are whispered through gasping breaths, sometimes they’re screamed through agonized seizures, and sometimes they’re accompanied by tearful eyes. 

They even try psychological torture on him. Clones of the paladins pretend to rescue Keith and save him. But then, their eyes turn red, and they beat him within an inch of his life. The real paladins watch as versions of themselves kick Keith until he sits in a pool of his own blood.  


Once Keith realizes it’s fake, the clones ask him why his team hasn’t come for him. Keith doesn’t answer. As a punishment, they slam his head into the ground so hard that he chokes and retches, but he’s so starved that nothing comes up. 

Tears soak his face as he begs them not to show this to his real team. Humiliation slumps his shoulders and turns his cheeks red. His eyes are devoid of their fire, and he looks like a shell of who he used to be. Again, he’s asked why his team hasn’t come for him. This time, he answers. 

“Because they don’t care. Because I’m nothing to them.”

Watching helplessly, Lance feels his eyes well up with tears. He hears Shiro choke on a sob, unable to watch anymore. The screen goes black, but not before they hear on last thud and an accompanying scream of pain. 

And then, Lance’s letter glows red for a varga. 

And then, it stops.

And then, Lance has a plan.

* * *

It takes a lot of work and planning, but they eventually find where Keith is being kept and manage to break in. They decide that one person would be most efficient to retrieve him, since they don’t want to be caught. Shiro is ready to volunteer, until Lance decides it should be him.

He needs to tell Keith that they’re soulmates. He needs Keith to know he isn’t alone. 

The plan almost fails. Pidge has trouble hacking in, and Lance is almost caught by guards on his way in. As Lance gets closer and closer to where Pidge says Keith is, there are even fewer guards. And when he gets to Keith’s cell, there is not a single sentry in sight. 

When he breaks through the door, he understands why. 

In the corner of the small room, dressed in bloody rags and curled up defensively on a sad excuse for a blanket, is the former red paladin. He’s so emaciated and injured that he could never stand a chance at escape. No one would waste guards on a prisoner that’s barely mobile. Lance would be surprised if he could even walk on his own. 

“Keith?” He questions cautiously, wary of the volume of his voice. He doesn’t want to frighten him. “I’m gonna get you out of here now.”

What Lance expects to see in Keith’s expression is relief. Instead, there is an odd mix of terror and resignation. He watches as Keith sighs, curling further into the corner. The cloth he’s lying on shifts, revealing a red stain on the floor. Lance’s stomach churns at the possibility that it’s Keith’s blood.

“Again?” Keith whispers, voice scratchy and defeated. “Please don’t do this to me again, _please.”_

“Keith,” Lance begins, unsure what to say after the plea shatters his heart to pieces. “This is real, I promise, I’m real,” he tries to reason, but it’s no use. He watches as Keith struggles to sit up, resting his back against the wall as he tries to defend himself from the pain he expects. 

“That’s what you said last time. I’m not falling for it again.”

Lance’s breath catches in his throat as he finally gets a better look at Keith. Now that he’s sitting up, Lance can see the extent to which he’s hurt. A large gash runs the entire length of his face, and blood leaks from both his nose and his lip, which is swollen and busted. His skin is pale and yellowing with malnutrition; that is, where there aren’t bruises. 

His arm is clutched to his chest, where Lance can see most of his fingers are broken. Looking lower, Lance sees through the ragged pants that his right knee is swollen. And beneath the hem of the pant leg, there are angry red marks that indicate restraints. Truthfully, there is not a part of Keith that’s unscathed. 

“I can prove this is real,” Lance decides, immediately knowing what to do. He approaches Keith cautiously, taking slow steps in his direction with his hands raised non-threateningly. Keith eyes him apprehensively at first, then appears more scared the closer Lance gets. Until Lance just sits in front of him, giving him an instruction. “Roll up your sleeve.”

“Why?” He responds, raising an eyebrow just barely, though his swollen eye prevents much movement. Still, he does as he’s told, and Lance smiles slightly when he sees it. A blue ‘L’ on Keith’s left wrist. Just as dim as its always been, he assumes. 

Lance closes his eyes.

At first, he isn’t sure if he’s doing it right, since he’s never done this before. But he finds that it isn’t difficult. He uses all the power he can muster to wish with his whole being to communicate with his soulmate, and it causes his red ‘K’ to glow briefly. Then, he looks to Keith’s blue ‘L’.

It glows brightly. 

The light illuminates Keith’s face in the dim cell, and Lance watches his eyes widen as he stares down. Then, his gaze lifts, and they make eye contact. Their smiles mirror each other. 

Finally, Lance truly _understands_ the whole concept of soulmates. He understands even better why they call it reaching out. 

Because when you reach out, you hope to take hold of something. You hope your fingers grasp something to keep you grounded, to keep you safe, to keep you sane. When you reach out, you take initiative. You put your heart on the line. And all you can do is hope that there’s someone there reaching back, ready to take your hand. 

As Lance takes Keith’s hand in his, he swears to never let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's all folks! i enjoyed this one but its not my best work lol  
> -lily


End file.
